A few glasses of wine down and Rick and Morty plays in the background.  It's another Friday night in quarantine and there are a million and two things running through my mind.  Mainly, whats next for me.  What happens when you lose passion for all the things you once loved?  What happens when you don't know in which direction to go next?  During this quarantine, I've come up with more questions than answers for myself and even more reason to talk myself out of being who i want to be.  Each day I watch myself move on autopilot with only my children breaking up the monotony of the day.  Its crazy the boundaries we place on ourselves as we grow older and let life happen.  We get too old to have fun, explore the world, or fall in love over and over again.  I've gotten so caught up in saving face that even the ones who know me best, really don't know that they don't know me at all anymore.  They can't know me because I'm constantly evolving into myself.  But what I do know is I refuse to spend another 30 years on the planet not enjoying my time, the life I have, or the one I'm working toward.   And this entry may be a little over the place due to the wine but thats okay too.   The writing can only get better from here.